By Randy Hyde, Ph.D.
    The foundation of relationships is responsiveness. Human beings have an innate need for validation and connection. Research shows that quantity of interaction and responsiveness is more effective at building a relationship than even the quality of the interaction. The more a person reaches out to connect in a positive way, the stronger the relationship will be. When a person reaches out and is ignored, or brushed off, it hurts the person deeply and research shows it will be a while before that person reaches out again.

  2. Not ... Enough
    by Rich Tripp, CMHC
    I work with a lot of people who keep getting caught in the trap of thinking that they are:  “Not … (Fill in the Blank) … Enough.” 
    Do you ever get caught in this trap?  Take a minute and think about areas where you may feel like you’re not enough.
    Common thoughts could include:
    “Not … Good … Enough”
    “Not … Pretty … Enough”
    “Not … Smart … Enough”
    “Not … Spiritual … Enough”
    The problem with this kind of thinking is that there is not really any way to measure what “Enough” is or determine when you arrive at “Enough”.

  3. Learning to Relax
    Kat Green, PhD Intern
    One of the most valuable skills any of us can learn is to slow down and relax when we’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed. This is easier said than done, of course, and it actually requires a number of sequential steps, each of which requires unique and practiced skills. The first step is to recognize that we are becoming stressed or anxious. Most of us can tell when we are totally overwhelmed and experiencing many, significant signs of stress or anxiety.

  4. Counting to Ten is Stupid!

    You’ve all heard that before, right, especially in dealing with anger? Take a deep breath and count to ten.

    “But I don’t want to count to ten, ok?! I’m mad, or I’m freaked out, or I’m too down right now.”

    Alright, so maybe counting to ten is not stupid, but it’s certainly insufficient.

    “Why should I take a deep breath and count to ten, anyway? What’s in it for me, huh?”

    Well, quite a bit actually!

    Think of it this way—when you are stressed, angry, freaked out, etc, there is likely an imbalance of oxygen and carbon dioxide in your body, and this doesn’t feel good at all.

  5. The Power of Gratitude
    Randy Gilliland, M.S.

    Trying to appreciate yourself, your life, and those around you is a simple way to improve your mental health and increase your overall well-being.  Although maintaining a sense of gratitude has been a major facet of religions worldwide for thousands of years, empirical research has only recently begun to uncover the life-enhancing benefits of this trait.  The word gratitude stems from the Latin root gratia, which means thanks, grace, kindness, and gratefulness.

  6. How to CHANGE Your Life
    The magic word: change.  Change sometimes feels so elusive, yet we yearn for it.  We often think, “I really want to change, I just don’t know how.  I’ve tried, but it only lasts so long before I go back to my old ways.”  Whether it’s wanting to lose weight or become more patient with your children, it comes down to deeply engrained habits.  You’ve spent years thinking or behaving in the ways that you do, so of course, it can be extremely difficult to change these things.

  7. Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry
    Condensed by Randy Hyde, Ph.D.
    1. Two aspects of GAD (Generalized anxiety disorder): 1. Excessive Worry; 2. Physical Tension
      1. Both of these create a vicious cycle feeding off of each other.
      2. Driving you too hard. Becomes unproductive after a certain point.
      3. Often does not enjoy life – too many important things to do.

  8. Parents have the responsibility of helping a child learn about future consequences. Anticipating consequences is called ‘wisdom’.

    One of the most effective ways to teach this principle is to teach the child “if, then”  statements.

    For example, an “if, then” statement would be “If you do not clean up your room, then you will receive a time out.”

    When we teach a child that there will be a consequence and then follow through, the child learns to make certain choices and those choices will lead to certain consequences.

  9. Love and play with your child. The ability to give and receive love and have close committed relationships is one of the three most important things of life.

    Become good at giving love and give it often. If affection is good, abundant affection is a lot better.

    Don’t be stingy in showing those you care about that you love them.

  10. Parents are the best people to teach a child the role of consequences in life - both positive and negative. When a parent continues to parent through the child’s resistance, the child will learn three essential lessons:

    1. Respect
    2. Increase in love, bonding, and attachment—the child learns that they can trust you
    3. Cooperation

  11. Research showed last week that the average kid spends 53 hours a week with electronic media / entertainment.

    Martin Seligman, Ph.D., a premier psychologist and researcher found that to much leisure time creates depression.

    Some of the greatest longitudinal research in child psychology out of Harvard University found that there was one thing parents could do to raise happy, healthy, successful kids.

  12. Externally Validated

    We all need validation. Validation means to make something valid, substantiate, or confirmed. Emotional validation boils down to receiving feedback from what we do and say. Everyone wants to be validated; however, there are two types of validation—one is healthy and one is not.

    The two types of validation are external validation and internal validation.

  13. Be available for your children

    1. Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk--for example, at bedtime, beforedinner, in the car--and be available.
    2. Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening intheir lives.
    3. Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoidscheduling other activities during that time.
    4. Learn about your children's interests--for example, favorite music and activities--and show interest in them.

  14. Six myths surround stress. Dispelling them enables us to understand our problems andthen take action against them. Let's look at these myths.

    Myth 1: Stress is the same for everybody.

    Completely wrong. Stress is different for each of us. What is stressful for one personmay or may not be stressful for another; each of us responds to stress in an entirelydifferent way.

    Myth 2: Stress is always bad for you.



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