Not ... Enough
by Rich Tripp, CMHC
I work with a lot of people who keep getting caught in the trap of thinking that they are: “Not … (Fill in the Blank) … Enough.”
Do you ever get caught in this trap? Take a minute and think about areas where you may feel like you’re not enough.
Common thoughts could include:
“Not … Good … Enough”
“Not … Pretty … Enough”
“Not … Smart … Enough”
“Not … Spiritual … Enough”
The problem with this kind of thinking is that there is not really any way to measure what “Enough” is or determine when you arrive at “Enough”. You can’t go to sleep one night feeling like you’re “Not Smart Enough”, wake up the next day, learn one little factoid and suddenly feel like you’ve made it. Because you have no way of measuring or determining what “Enough” is, subconsciously you throw out the “Enough” and your thoughts become:
This is a dangerous type of “all or nothing” thinking. We can never be “Enough” and if we’re not “Enough” then we’re not anything at all. It is important to see yourself truthfully. You’re not perfect, but you still have lots of great qualities, characteristics and values.
With the New Year and Resolutions on our minds, I would encourage you to give up these kinds of negative thoughts. Rather than trying to get to “Enough” focus on the areas that you would like to improve, set goals, and identify small steps you can take to help reach those goals.
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